Michelle Ressa Aventajado: Motherhood inspires advocacies

There are no benchmarks for a mother's unconditional love for her children. Writer, blogger, teacher, TV host, social enterprise executive, advocate, Michelle Ressa Aventajado wears many hats. But the most important is being a hands-on mom to Gia, Miguel, Diego and Gelli.

Born in Manhattan and raised in upstate New York, the Filipina-American relocated to Manila with her husband Nino and three children in 2006; Gelli, the fourth child, joined the family in 2011. “I have always shared how motherhood holds a mirror to you. Your children do not define who you are, but they sure do provide a ton of opportunities to reflect on the person you are and who you want to be.”

Each child shifted her understanding of motherhood. Gia caused her to challenge gender stereotypes; Miguel's early health scares shifted the way she embraced her faith; Diego, an infant with acid reflux, tested her; and Gelli, born with an extra chromosome, “was like an exclamation point on my motherhood. She turned my world upside down and brought me back to my faith.”

Inspired advocacies

Motherhood gravitated Michelle toward causes close to her heart, centred on diversity and inclusion for children and families. Her widely followed blog, Momma 'N Manila, began on 15 October 2012 to chronicle her family's story with Gelli. “It was raw and cathartic. My motherhood became even more beautiful because of the perspective of Gelli's extra chromosome. She cracked me wide open and taught me how to be brave in serving those who are often underserved. I advocate like a mother!”

She has channelled that into concrete work: the Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines, the first support group she and Nino turned to; Best Buddies Philippines, where she is president and executive director, empowering people with intellectual and developmental differences through friendship, integrated employment and leadership; and The Center For Possibilities, bringing therapy to families in far-flung regions. “Gelli's going to grow up into the world we're shaping. I wanted it to be more welcoming than it was when she was born.”

She also champions awareness campaigns, #EndTheRWord, against derogatory language, and #ChangingTheFaceOfBeauty, pushing brands toward inclusive representation. “Any big movement in culture starts with a shift in language. Representation matters, changing the face of beauty for kids who have Down syndrome is important to me because my daughter has Down syndrome.”

In September 2023, looking for support and ways to grow, Michelle joined Women of the World. “I was looking for a mentor and found friends, too. WOW provides both professional and personal development. It's a girl gang who doesn't gate keep. It's supportive.”

Motherhood becomes her

Being a mom is a full-time job with no days off, but the benefits far outweigh a conventional 9-to-5. “As I've gotten older, the joys are sometimes the simplest of things,” she says, freezing a moment at the beach with legs and bodies intertwined, cooking together as one unit, watching Gelli confidently take the stage at a fashion show, or listening to her eldest, now a med student, explain something so the family can understand.

Her biggest joy is watching her three older children show unconditional love to Gelli, protective, nurturing, hilarious. “My kids hold a mirror to me and they are my greatest teachers,” Michelle often says. But it works both ways: as their first teacher and forever mom, she is a mirror of the unconditional love that shaped them.